A twinkle in my eye...

Today I met Sam.  Sam is a personal trainer at the new gym I started going to.  He is hot, tall, dark haired, hot, tan, muscular, and did I mention hot?  I was working out on the lap bar and was really struggling.  My IPOD headphone strings were tangled all up around the bar because I am completely stupid about how to work that machine.  Here I am cussing up a storm and Sam the hottie comes up behind me.
"Need some help miss?"
Of course I blush like crazy since I feel so stupid and I can't even remember what dumb words must have come out of my mouth, but he helped me get untangled.  He starts showing me some exercises I can do to help tone my upper body but all I can do is drool and think about how much I want to touch his upper body...  To be honest I don't remember any of the exercises he showed me so I will definitely have to go back and ask him to show me his form again.  Maybe the next time I will wear my full volume mascara and a dab of lip gloss... 

Millie oh Millie

I finally made a friend at work.  Her name is Millie and she is the admin assistant for our IT Manager.  Millie is a few years older than me, has a 2 year old little girl, and knows ALL the office gossip!  She informed me today that Ted, VP of Marketing, who is MARRIED, is sleeping with Donna in HR.  Seriously, she works in the HR department?  How scandelous can you get?  Ted is not even cute!  What's wrong with this Donna woman?  Number one NEVER mess with a married man!  Number two, never mess with an UGLY married man!  Seriously... this woman must need counseling!  I never understood why woman go after these loser guys.  I might have high standards, and stay single A LOT, but at least I don't have all this mental baggage to deal with.  So you wonder what my standards are, here's my list:

1. Can not be married or dating another woman... or man in some cases

2. Can not be jobless

3. Has to have some goals and ambitions

4. Must drive a car at least 5 years or newer

5. Can't do drugs... maybe a little pot here and there but nothing more

6. Has to have a little humor about him

7. Has to be somewhat interested in spending time outdoors

8. Can NOT wear tapered leg jeans!!!!

Is that really a hard list to measure up to?  My friends back home tell me that I have set my standards way too high and that I will never get married.  My philosophy is I'd rather be single and happy than married and miserable though.  Ricky keeps saying he is going to hook me up with some of his guy friends, but that might be kind of scary if they are like him...  I told him they must have a facebook page I can stalk at least a week before going on any dates!

My only other new news is that I am going puppy shopping soon.  I decided that dogs are better than people and maybe a dog will help clean up all of Ricky's late night stripper food messes!

Mildly irritated

So I packed all my shit up a month ago to move to Myrtle Beach and decided I'd be "new age" and find a male roommate. I posted an ad on Craigslist and then Ricky shows up. Ricky is a bartender that works at night and sleeps all day. That's fine. Everyone has to work and sleep sometime, but I swear this is the laziest fucker I've ever met!
I get off work today, wanting to come home, throw on my sweats, and be lazy because work was disasterous, and what do I find? Not one, but TWO girls, laying half naked on the pullout couch in MY living room! Okay so then I go into the kitchen only to find a bag of tortilla chips spilled all over the counter with little droppings of salsa on the floor and dripping down the side of my cabinets. Someone's bra is hanging on the fridge handle and there is a lipstick kiss mark on To-do list that I put on the table before work. Not cool! I go down the hall towards Ricky's room and stop halfway there because I hear noises that I only hear in porns going on from that direction. WTF does this guy do when he gets off--pick up every stray hoe left in his bar?
I realize that I can be a little OCD and I may be a little uptight at times, but really... what would you do?